Clarity

Often there are things we have been thinking about for days, weeks, months, and even years but we can not quite grasp how its connected. Or the importance.

Recently, I found clarity to something I have been thinking about for what I want to say is years. I'm not sure when it started, maybe it was at a point in my life when I was looking for meaning, trying to understand my purpose. Perhaps it was when I was trying to understand what having meaning in life actually meant. Or when trying to understand the purpose of my daily actions.

Every day, we as humans, go through our daily actions, but we don't always think about the purpose. We get lost in the repetitiveness of our daily lives, and we forget the meaning of our actions. We forget the deeper meaning of what we woke up for and we don't think about the purpose of sticking our foot in our shoe or why we tied our laces. We rush through the day, we rush through an alley to get to work. As we rush through the alley we don't see whats in front of us, or next to us, or above us or even what we are stepping on. What many people don't realize, what they aren't seeing, is that in that alley there is beauty. There are flowers growing on trees, theres a hidden garden beneath a gate and in the beautiful flower we missed as we rushed through the alley, there is a small ant crawling.

The reality is that the world is huge, there are so many things happening around us that its impossible for our brains to take it all in. To avoid sensory overload it doesn't really look at everything. We look but we don't always see. We rush through crowds but we don't look at anyones face. Everyday, I rush past the man sitting outside his apartment to leave my building, but not once have I spoken a word to him. In graduate school, I walked through Forrest Park every single day, but I often missed that flowers bloomed, or trees turned yellow. Next thing I knew the leaves were gone, but I not once had I stopped to take a look.

This has been something I have thought about for a long time. The fact that I go through days at end and forget to remember why I am doing it. I forget to look at my surroundings, as I rush through the day, in order to get to another day. As I rushed through the days, the days swept by and months past me by. Now I am at this point where I realize that I allowed time to pass me by, without stopping to take it in. To understand all my actions and make sense of all my motives. Or to just stop sometimes and see my surroundings. I question how much I've missed in life, just because of the fact that even just in the last two years, I forgot to stop and appreciate the present day and the people who surrounded me.

I moved here to Jerusalem over two months ago. At least a few times a week I walk down my street through an ally to Beit Lechem. Recently I discovered that in that ally there are beautiful homes. The most extravagant homes I've seen in Jerusalem. Beyond a gate I realized there was what seemed like an enchanting garden, with a pond and flowers, that seemed to never end. As I stopped and stared at the garden, what I couldn't really grasp was the idea that I've walked by this gate so many times and had no idea what I was walking past. I was looking, but I was not seeing.

It is more than not seeing though. You would think that putting on your shoes each day has no meaning to it. When you think about it there is more to a shoe than most stop to realize. First of all, why did we choose the shoe. For what purpose did we put that shoe on when we woke up that morning. It is the idea that we don't often think about the actions of simply putting our foot into a sock, that then goes into our shoe, that then leads to accomplish a goal and takes us through a day.

Perhaps though, its too much to always have to think about these things. We don't really want to allow ourselves to experience sensory overload, or think about every single action we take. It would take too long to get out the door and I guess it would also take too long to get to work if we stopped to see what we walked past everyday. But there is something to be said, about every now and then stopping to think of the meaning of your actions and stopping to not just look but to see your surroundings.

The fresh perspective on life. This is the clarity.

"I sold my tent, to pay the Rent...."

"The Rent is Too Damn High!" I first heard this stated from a newly formed political party in New York. The rent is too high was not just the name of the political party, but it was the basis for its agenda. What happens when a government does not regulate prices, when price ceilings are not enforced and it allows for cost of living to sky rocket? I ask this question
but I realize the question is relevant outside the perimeters of Manhattan.

This past year has sparked something that I believe has been sitting and waiting to erupt. Protests, revolutions, passion, fighting for ones rights to afford the cost of living, a social media phenomenon, and in Israel..

..Tent Cities.

What happens when prices rise, but peoples salary's stay stagnant? What happens when the cost of food continues to skyrocket with no controls, no ceilings? What happens when the youth of this generation decide that they are fed up with neglect of the government on its own people? Protests.

"Economic Gaps Widen in Israel" - YNET

This summer in Israel I think I have the luxury of experiencing something different, something unique. I first heard of a student protest in Jerusalem about the cost of rent a few weeks ago. What I didn't realize was the extent of these protests. I was told that students were going to be protesting in Jerusalem because prices of

rent have continued to increase and students can't afford to live anymore. These protests became a country-wide protest that sprung up throughout the country in the form of what they are calling: Tent Cities. Throughout Israel you can see these tent cities, where students and now even non-students are camping out in tents to protest the government. Organizing marches throughout Tel Aviv, in front of the Prime Ministers Home in Jerusalem, down the streets of Jerusalem and in front of the Knesset. Today, I even read an article that protests have even occurred in front of the Israeli Embassy in Berlin. Young Adults who couldn't afford the cost of living in Tel Aviv that moved to Berlin because of the lower cost of rent.

What they are fed up with is the rising cost of living. Landlords who are raising the cost of rent in the middle of the year, food prices that have skyrocketed,

low salaries that don't compare with the rising price indexes. These are all key issues that are finally being shoved in the faces of governmental officials. Security has been a main topic of interest in Israel for several years, but as things have died down, people have begun to fight for the issues that have been pushed aside. What I read about the other day in a YNet article, is that Israeli's have understood for years the importance of security and have dealt with the economic struggle. Except now, this summer they no longer want to be ignored.

The key similarity here to the uprisings we saw in Egypt, Syria and other middle eastern countries is the use of Facebook to spark interest, to rally people together. I don't see this being a revolutionary protest like we saw in Egypt. But I do see these tent cities, protests against the government to have a major impact on policy. The Prime Minister and other members of Knesset finally need to take a look at the people, and the needs of the people.

At this point in history, at a time when social media such as Facebook are wide-spread, the people can no longer be ignored. What I have seen in the last year, tells a story of what happens when you allow too many people to suffer, to allow too many people to not afford to live a decent life. If you don't put policies in place to keep people happy, you see revolutions, riots, uprisings.

I find it interesting how a social media site like Facebook can have such a important impact on global history.

The New York Times - "Israeli's Feel Tug of Protest, Reviving the Left's spirit"

***Pictures taken by Miriam Wasser in Tel Aviv, Israel***

Nicole Takes Pilates in Hebrew....or so I thought.

After a long three week fight with the hills of Jerusalem I was defeated. I learned that two mile runs up a steep hill may be good for my butt, but my legs were yelling at me. While doing Yoga in my room without a Yoga mat was quite calming, I gave in and I joined a gym for the next month. Apparently there is a Groupon type entity in Jerusalem, "JReal" I believe it was called, so I bought a coupon to the gym down the road from me, from a girl who sprained her ankle.

Two days in and its already been an experience. Yesterday I tried running on the treadmill, but either they are all not working properly or somehow I now can run a 6.5 minute mile. I wish.

Now today, is really what I wanted to write about. Today, I decided to take a Pilates class. Of course when I joined I was really excited to get free classes along with it. What I didn't think about was that they are all in Hebrew.

All day I was excited about this Pilates class, having done Pilates on my own for several years. I get to the class and I instantly know I have a problem. While I'm not shy in English, in Hebrew its a completely different story. I walked in and thought that maybe I wasn't in a Pilates class and I had misread it. Even so, I watch the things the other women grabbed and found a spot on the floor. There is no way to have known what I was getting myself into.

What I thought was a Pilates class turned into what I felt was an Israeli dance party. As we listened to music from an Israeli club, the teacher I believe was instructing us to move are hips back and forth and our arms in wave like movements. The teacher just kept smiling and saying things as if I understood her. Which of course I did not. Not being fluent in Hebrew, it is impossible to listen while trying to move my hips at the same time. Every now and than I'd catch the word "Hand" or "Up" and of course I understood when she counted to 10. Trying to play it off as if I knew Hebrew and knew what was going on, I continued to shake my hips and move my hands in what seemed like some sort of belly dance move. I would randomly start laughing realizing how absurd this class was and how in the United States you don't get pilates mixed with some sort of middle eastern flow.

Eventually we started to do some moves that resembled Pilates. While I thought I was playing it off quite well that I knew what she was telling us to do, things began to take a wrong turn. First it began with the girl behind me, who kept saying things to me in Hebrew. I nodded my head and pretended as if I understood, but she kept looking at me strangely. Then the instructor kept telling me to correct what I was doing, but the pressure got to me and I couldn't focus well enough to understand. So what did I do, I nodded my head and said, "ken,ken" (yes, yes) several times until she gave up on me.

I didn't think this experience could get any stranger but I was mistaken. We all had these large exercise balls that we were balancing in a strange way on. Next thing I know, I hear a crash and see the instructor running over to this girl who had head first dived into the floor. It appeared that her glasses had cut up her face. It was pretty awful and I felt really bad because I didn't know if I could help not knowing Hebrew well enough. What disturbed me is that the instructor used her bare hands to cover this girls bleeding. It really got stranger though when the teacher eventually got up and finished the class with this girl still laying on the ground bleeding. Best part is that she did it with blood on her hand, not hers, the girl who had face dove into the wooden floor.

And that concludes the story of Nicole takes Pilates in Hebrew. Perhaps next time I'll do Yoga.

A Proverb in Amharic.

Today my field instructor taught me a really interesting proverb in Amharic. Amharic is the language that is spoken in Ethiopia. In Amharic they say that when someone points at you with one finger, complaining or excusing you of something, they have three fingers that are pointing at them. When you point at someone else, you should always remember that three fingers point back at you and you should ask yourself what you have done to make things the way they are. Rather than complaining, you should ask yourself how you can create change for yourself. I wish I knew how to say it in Amharic, but although I do work with a non-profit that works with the Ethiopian community, everyone speaks Hebrew. Perhaps I will ask my field instructor how to say this in Amharic.

Today I reached a benchmark as I strive to regain my Hebrew back. While I do my work in English, I hear Hebrew every day in the office. I went on an adventure today by myself to find the Israel Museum in Jerusalem. My benchmark reitterated the fact that confidence is key in learning to speak a different language. What I have lacked is the confidence in myself to speak with mistakes. The struggle has held me back and the frustration has created barriars up until recently. When I got to the Israel Museum I went to get a ticket to enter and started speaking the the sales person in Hebrew. Out of no where all this Hebrew just flowed out of my mouth and I guess I was just amazed that perhaps I was just holding myself back. The salesperson wondered where I learned my Hebrew because I spoke very well. So today I reached a benchmark, reach a goal and I am some how managing to regain my Hebrew abilities back along with gaining new vocabulary without spending money on an Ulpan class.

I woke up the other day and was chatting with a friend on facebook and writing to her in Hebrew. When suddenly I had this realization. If I could write in Hebrew and have a conversation than I can speak in Hebrew. So that day I went to work, threw my fears out the door and had a conversation in Hebrew with one of the Israeli girls that works in the office. Up until that point I was nervous and didn't know how to approach talking to her because I thought I couldn't speak in Hebrew. With that, I am approaching my learning in a new way. I still struggle sometimes with understanding. Some people are more clear to me than others. But I've already made significant progress in the last few days!

The other day I sat through a meeting in Hebrew and was able to make out parts of it. But the reality was that since I lacked a lot of the vocab used it was difficult to follow. While I learned later that I missed the important parts of the conversation, I came up with a whole new set of vocab. I can now say "vision" in hebrew, which I feel is a really great word to know!

Along with this, I have started with my roommate a Hebrew wall on a pillar in my apartment that was painted with paint you can on with chalk. I've decided there should be a word of the day. Yesterdays was "Alarm clock" and the day before it was "toothpick." Now that I think of it, I did not pick a word of the day for today.

Todays word of the day is, ’’נאנח''– In english it means "sighing." I learned it today when I went to buy envelopes. The salesman said "Why are you sighing" but all i heard was "why blah blah" Which is usually how people sound to me if I don't know the words.

to be continued....

Thru Jerusalem

Appropriate that I share this.

A continuation of my world travels.

I arrived to Israel a week ago and started writing a blog about my internship with the Ethiopian National Project as a project that I must do in turn for a scholarship I received from my school. As the week went on I kept thinking that I needed to write down the things I've been seeing and the people that I have encountered here. So I have decided to continue writing in my blog from when I lived in Israel two and a half years ago. This time I'm back, with more perspective, with a different way of approaching this country and with different goals. And this time I'm living in Jerusalem, a place I never thought I'd live, but after a week I see there is something very intriguing about it.

When I first got here, I wondered if this had been a good decision or if I had gotten wrapped up in a crazy idea that I somehow managed to make work out. Perhaps its a combination of that and a combination of fate. From the moment I returned from Israel June of 2009, I haven't been able to get over Israel. I fell in love with this country, with its history, its land, its beauty and sometimes I don't even mind the crazy people. After navigating myself physically and mentally past the stumbling blocks I encountered I once again feel like I have been pulled back into what ever enchantment this place creates. My internship allows for creativity and outside the box thinking and I'm somehow managing it in 3/4th English and 1/4th Hebrew. When I look back at not just the effort I put into making this happen, but the things that just somehow seemed to work out for me, I can't help but think that I'm supposed to be here. I always said I wanted to try living here beyond a program, and here I am doing it.

Perhaps though I'm still seeing this place with rose colored glasses because I'm not really a citizen here and I haven't had to go through the obstacles of a new olim. Countless times I hear the same things. "Everything takes too long to get done," "The people are rude," "People don't talk nice to eachother," "Its dirty." I could go on with a longer list but you get the idea. At the same time, even though the streets are infested with cats, and yes people are rude quite often (depending on who your talking to), There is so much culture here and there is quite a lot of diversity just in this small little country. The country itself is beautiful, with history that dates back 1000's of years.

With that, today I decided to take a walk to the Old City of Jerusalem because it is Shabbot and almost nothing is opened here. It was my first time ever being in Israel and going to the Old City and the Kotel by myself. The walk was beautiful, blue skies and sunshine. It was a two mile walk for me to get there from where I live, but I realized how nice it was to have that time to myself. I entered the Old City through the Jaffa gate but realized I actually had no idea where to go. Previous to today, I had only ever been to the old city with groups and once I went with my friend Jess. I chose to not venture through the Arab quarter by myself right away, so I walked around into the Armenian quarter. With other people around it was ok, but alone it felt questionable. After much walking and searching I came upon the Jewish quarter and finally the Kotel (Western Wall).

Entering the Kotel area I was mistaken for an Israeli and was assumed to be able to speak Hebrew (which is half true). This made me happy to not look like a tourist! From there I entered the women section of the Kotel, took a prayer book and sat in a chair.

This time was different than other times. It was the first time I really had an extended amount of time to really think about what I was doing and the significance of this wall right in front of me. Previous to this time, I've seen women pray and I've seen people crying with their hands and heads up against the wall. When it comes down to it though, this wall that is so significant to so many people, that people come to from around the world, is just that, a wall. But is it? I was sitting looking at it and couldn't help but think about the history that it stands for. The only left remenents of the Temple from thousands of years ago. A place that people have come to, to pray to g-d, to ask for forgiveness, for health, for happiness, or to just stand in silence. This wall is surrounded with little pieces of paper from people from around the world. They are stuck in little cracks, in holes, loaded on top of other peoples prayers, they are surrounding the bottom of the wall and bursting out of bricks. Pieces of paper that they stick in the wall hoping g-d or someone will hear their prayers. I've also put pieces of paper into the wall many times before. This time I didn't. This time I just sat and observed people and wondered what this wall meant to them. This time I sat and thought to myself, what does this wall mean to me.

Here is a little secret about the wall. Your prayers that you put in it, on those little pieces of paper, they don't remain there forever. Eventually cleaners come and collect them when they begin to overflow. Where they go, I'm not quite sure.

I come here and i always wonder if I'm searching for answers for something along the way. Its my fifth time here and I'm not sure if I have really found anything. What i have discovered though is a place that has weirdly ingrained Judaism into their culture and their country. I have discovered that this country still has a lot of growing to do. I have discovered that the situation in the Middle East is not simple. I have discovered that without confidence my Hebrew will never improve. I have discovered that sunshine and blue skies makes me really happy. I have discovered that nature inspires me. Lastly, I have discovered a love for a place that is often unexplainable.

reminder of israel...

I found this amongst the pages of my Hebrew notebook I carried around with me during my time in Israel....

Standing in the Center of the world

The Sun sets beyond the hills

As the sky is painted in shades of red

Our worlds grow farther apart...

Our eyes view life through different lens

Nature, open spaces, trees swaying in the wind

Awakens my soul

Noise, tides crashing in, crowds of blank faces

Capture your heart